behoovingmoving (behoovingmoving) wrote,
behoovingmoving
behoovingmoving

Dear Lance Armstrong

If the tables were turned, and it was Lance Armstrong who finished uni and went to pursue his profession in Singapore, before completing a PhD and becoming an academic, and if I had been the one to pursue a professional cycling career with multiple tour wins and sponsorship deals, I would fully expect Lance to be the one typing away at a computer and saying what I now find myself having to say, and that is:

It could have been me Lance!


I look at your legs, and I think you pussy Sir Lancelot Armstrong. For all that cycling, they're no more angry looking than mine!

And I'm the one who went from F-grade to A-grade and won a club championship in my very first year of racing, Lance. How long did you take? Hu? Hu! And by the end of that year I was crossing hills while every A-grade cyclist, in Newcastle Lance, the whole of Newcastle, was choking minutes behind me. And I never went in for your hoity toity organised training, or training diaries, or diets. I would just head up Mount Sugarloaf by myself between lectures, or down to Toronto on the freeway, all on a bowl of rolled oats, 'cause I was poor Lance. I was a student. Had you had my brains, that's right, brains Lance, it would have been you sitting up to watch me win the tour. You know I could have been a contender. 


Since we're all among friends here at Behoovingmoving, I would invite all my dear readers to suck on a Scotch and tell us why they know, and have proof, that they could have been a contender as well. It's so nice just to get this stuff off of your chest. 
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