behoovingmoving (behoovingmoving) wrote,

Bike sex case exposes obvious truth about cycling

If you see more than the usual number cyclists passing guilty glances at law officials this week, it may not be for the usual reasons: riding sans helmets; riding on footpaths; running red lights; stealing old ladies' handbags. Many of us are on edge at this point, after a man was arrested (in America, where else?) for having sex with his bike. This was in the privacy of his hostel room as well! Here's the full story on BBC News.

If we're nervous lads, spare a thought for Norman Foster, whose buildings, if they don't look like male or female genitalia, look an awful lot like his own bike, that he has been known to embrace rather more fondly than American law enforcement agencies might be willing to overlook. But I ask you, what 30K Moulton space frame bicycle, has not been molested? Isn't that why bikes such as these are produced? I know what I would be doing, if ever I got a bike like this home. Matters were quite bad enough when I first got my Lynskey.

girl meets boy

But I remind American law enforcement agencies of the 1499 Renaissance treatise, The Hypnerotomachia Poliphili, in which the protagonist has penetrative sex with buildings 3 times, after being rejected by a woman he lusts for. And this, ladies, is why we men toil to produce such beautiful things as you see on the skyline, and in some boutique bicycle shops. One needn't be as world wise as I, to recognize such obvious truths about fine engineering, directed by the designerly eye of an aesthete.

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