April 16th, 2011

Reason to burn the world's fossil fuels before Christmas

Readers, a certain Professor Squires of the Wanganui Institute for Alternative Transportation, has been reading old BM posts while he shakes off the flu. Less shy about dropping comments than my other reader (howdie Roberto), Squires has been luring me into the mad mad world of human powered vehicles, or GOTYMDs (short for Get Off The Road You Mad Bastard).

When Hubbert's awful predictions about peak oil eventually eventuate, as they will I suppose, and the world's population drops back to a few hundred thousand (all descendants of mine, so don't worry), some strange things will happen. All remaining food will be tinned—so get used to that Spam kids. There will also be more ancient ruins than my descendants, if they're all architectural historians like grandpapa, will ever be able to take account of. Rem Koolhaas, Imhotep, Gerard Reinmuth: all names forgotten. On the bright side, my descendants will have these roads you've been making for cars, to explore using contraptions like these:

The yellow contraption your eye and mine are glued upon, is made by these guys.

With this to look forward to, and the technology available right now to relish the post-apocalyptic aftermath of current consumption, why are we dallying? I mean, why can't we burn all the fossil fuels faster? I propose a target of zero emissions by 2012, achieved by burning the whole freaking lot between now and Christmas. Show me you're with me on this, fellow humans, and I'll go and buy up all Professor Squires's contraptions right now. I leave you with a clip of The Wiggles (all A-grade cyclists) on a bunch ride around Melbourne.