September 7th, 2011

And I thought I could go fast on my road bike!

I keep thinking I should squander just a little more of may vast estate (so sorry pappa), this time on a Velomobile. Cars, aeroplanes, even bikes are so yesterday. Poop poop! From now on, it shall be velomobiles. Oh, vehiclar cycling had its delights, matching it with cars by my own power. But only with a peloton of fellow fools could I ever really go as fast as a car, on a highway. With a velomobile though... have a look at this brave pioneer of green transport:

Top-Gear hosts incite violence toward a vulnerable minority, and I say go after them

As someone who has been enormously successful in all aspects of life, I can say with some authority, that one must always play hardball with enemies. Among friends and family (and by that I mean, fellow cyclists) we can reveal our good humour. It is better that everyone else fear and loath us. Winning hearts and minds is a fine idea, when you're the one with the weapons. But let us remember, we are unarmed! 

I film bad drivers with my iPhone, take the evidence to local police, and make statements to have them fined. Another dad at my kids' school is $1000 poorer now, since I filmed him leaving his car running and double parked outside the school. Well diddums. My recent experience cycling around New York for a little over a week, is that drivers know cyclists are Bolshies, and will go straight to bike lawyers like Rankin & Taylor, if cars even brush them. Let word spread that we have teeth, are psychotic, un-Australian, humourless, and they might actually look for us before turning.

My good friends on Twitter, @billcawte and @Treadlie don't share my combative demeanor, and tell me I should chose my battles. Perhaps they have never had to "deal" with bad neighbours like I have, or been left to supervise itinerant workers there in the Congo, as daddy left me to do when I was 10. Whatever their reasons, my friends on Twitter are soft. I say, we have video evidence of illegal driving, and incitement of same, by the Australian cast members of Top-Gear. We would earn more respect than Kim Jong Il, by going in hard, and publicly calling for them all to be charged. I therefore call for them all to be charged, for driving offenses. Then we'll go after them for inciting violence toward a vulnerable minority.